The Rug laid down its life.

The cord became a strand that strand now fiber… lays
To speak upon the weight and strain of all its days.

Once part of a pattern in a rug that dressed it’s room ,
it now lays barley visible and knows from weight, it’s doomed .

The things of life have crushed it.
The nap it can not rise
it now just lays in wait
For it’s ultimate demise.

It still serves some purpose ,
To warm the floor below
But that too was splintered
From likened weight I know.

The color of the rug, is faded from the past and speaks to me in volume that it’s time just can not last.

Oh its been walked upon,
And life has left it’s stain
And now all that is left is to ask should it remain ?

Lest it be given cleaner or vacuumed torn apart. Let’s just admire it, for it did give it’s heart.

Oh I know that there are those of you who read between the lines but really folks it’s ok it’s really doing fine.

An interesting analogy, as I
View surrounding floor,
I really did protect it though I could have done much more . The wooden floor around me lays …
lighten now, by sun’s harsh rays
yet under me still lies….
a varnished life that cries.

By Meredith J Weir
Nov 19 th 2014 (8:30 a.m.)
All rights reserved .

Depression via genetics

Because I couldn’t
I didn’t
Because I didn’t
I have
Because I have
I can’t
Because I can’t
I don’t
Because I don’t
I know
Because I know
I feel remorse
Because I feel remorse
I couldn’t
because I couldn’t
I didn’t. ….
Repeat this from the top

By Meredith J Weir Nov 20th 2014
All rights reserved.

Child of woe

Deep within this pain filled soul
Lives a child who’s full of woe
In her sixties now,but lost her life
To time and pain and fighting strife.

This wordy one, LIVES deep in thought.
While many think it’s peace she sought.
But really folks there’s few that know what lies within this tortured soul.

She frequently gives voice to song
in a world to which, she can’t belong
But creatures, sky and sea can tell
Because you see, they know her well.

We trod below we look above while all the while we stare thru  love .
We look beyond and miss within
And that alone is a great sin.

But oh she stares at the birds in flight
and watches love in a star filled night.
And sees the sun and feels it’s rays and believe me that’s the best part of her day.
She speaks her words to things that know , how odd it is to live and grow,
and yet be seen as not alive regardless of how much you tried.
I’m here I’m here, she can relate
But alas my friends they hear too late
we bloomed and died and spilled our soul…..
And in the end it took it’s toll.
By Meredith J Weir
10/15/2014
All rights reserved

Now I lay me down to What?

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep……
if I should sleep before I wake …….I’ll celebrate and bake a cake . Insomniacs and weary come
will turn the lights up , have some fun
Come meowing cat and barking dog but no one who can sleep like logs
This party’s for the caffeine depleted
(which helps us out when it is needed )
Serving up melatonin bread, that will make you all want to go to bed !
Also have valerian root that should do it -what a hoot !! People sleeping here and there some just flopped over by a chair a sleeping party of epic proportion though tomorrow will all awake distorted with that familiar ,whose there look ?
Back to caffeine oh yes we’re hooked
And so a sleepless night will end …..
Coffee tomorrow? Oh yes dear friend !!
By Meredith J Weir

All rights reserved 9/12/14

Truly wounded

I saw a wrecked up body
A ghastly sight for sure
the scars ran wide and deep
I couldn’t tell much more

The body, it was breathing
but could it be alive?
and I sat there….wondering
how did it survive,
to be where I was sitting and starring
at it so, and what of all this ugliness?
I really didn’t know.

What weapons could have possibly
caused scars so deep and dark?
What weapon could have wrecked this life
and left such ugly marks

The light where I was sitting, it really wasn’t good,
I wanted to look at its face, I wondered if I could?
Could it have been a sword, a razor or a knife that
had wrecked this body ,that once had been a life?
It didn’t feel the pain right now
it sipped sweet spirits like me
but all that I could think of ….was what pain there had to be.

Someone sitting near by me , I overheard explain,
On how he knew a man once who nearly gone insane,
on how his life was ruined when he was in his prime
and how this was the place now where he spent most his time.

He spoke of the real damage, the pain within his heart,
it stirred in me the question as to where this all could start?

He then made reference to this thing alongside me
and now I was intrigued by what this all could be?
The conversation ended only one more thing I heard
that all this pain and ugliness was the result of a spoken word!

by Meredith J Weir
All rights reserved

To the next year

To the next year
( sung to tune auld lang syne )

Should this year pass our memory
Tomorrow there’s a new one
I hope it’s better than the last
I hope it is a good one !!

Chorus : To the next year
To the next year
Let’s hope it is a good one
I ‘ll tie one on , branded egg nog
And hope it is a good one.

Should this year pass our memory
And all the bad forgotten
I think it should I wish it would
Cause some of it was rotten

Tomorrow’s ills I know not now
Nor would I want to either
That’s why I sip a spirit drink
So I’ll remember neither 🙂

By Meredith J Weir
4:28 a.m
12/31/13
All rights reserved
My apology to Robert Burns author of the original
Auld lang syne 🙂

My confession 2013

My confession 2013

2013 is almost gone
But before it leaves us
I see something wrong …
I want to start next year
With nary a care
So let me take time now
— a few things to share ,
To those that I treated in an unkind way
I ask for forgiveness and pardon I pray .
For my sins of omissions
When I just let things pass
The memory of these thing I pray
will not last !
By knowledge or time lapse
I have no excuse
The guilt of these things
Dear God….. Cut me loose !

Some now have burned a hole in my heart and I know now , I know
They can not depart .
Only God’s mercy might set me free but then again, it’s so buried in me.
You ask why I’m sleepless
You certainly can see
It’s all the guilt so wrapped up in me.
I want to hope — I’ll do better next year,
But memories assault me and fill me with fear,
So as the clock tick, the current year to expire
I am praying and praying to this I aspire
Let me be more like Jesus
Who didn’t put off to tomorrow
And caused a relative so much grieving and sorrow though mine is gone now and I pray she ‘s at rest I know in her eyes I didn’t pass the test .
I don’t know of a pill that can heal my pain and at times in the night
I feel like I’m going insane .
Can I use The excuse that says
” I’m only human ” I see “do better ” scriptures all over are looming . If God DOES forgive me
Why then can’t I ?

Well good night my dear friends all I can say is I ‘ll try
By Meredith J Weir
12/28/2013 5:12 a.m
All rights reserved

The remnant is speaking

I am the remnant of the ruined girls life,
Lest you think that she took it because of her strife
She lives on , because of her faith that is sure
She believes in a heaven and looks forward much more .
Though here life has left her in frequent despair
She knows of a Savior who loves her and cares
She shares from her darkness
That illness of mind , in hopes that some others some light just might find .
She goes on by her faith, kind friends, and meds help
That is when she doesn’t leave them on a shelf. 🙂
If you follow my writings you often do see , the ups and the downs that is… I guess me .
So time now to go on and act like I’m glad , but only you readers know that I’m just sad.
By Meredith J Weir
12/29/13
All rights reserved

Ruined

20131229-062012.jpg

When did you die if you never really lived.
Who knew that one day this little girl would grow up to be alone .

No white picket fences with family for her .
No comfortable home she could call her own .
Who knew?
Even her job choice has led her astray
As alone she does spend much of her days
Who knew ?
Sad , sad , sad , sad , sad
No one knew then
and no one knows nows !
Ruined by life as it swept her aside
Her scars they are many
I wouldn’t lie …
scars on the outside
Deep scars within
Picture her ruined
By love never shared
Picture her lonely
From those who didn’t care
Who knew ?
By Meredith J weir
12/28/13
All rights reserved

LONE

Lone
I’m a lone
In stark contrast to my usual humorous self I share a little of my insides.
I’m a lone. Relatives are few in number ,what I do have is material things with relationship memories attached to them these do not in any way substitute for living breathing feeling relatives , and in some ways add to the sadness of my days but to depart with them makes me feel i’d be more of a lone :-/ I’m not here to debate how I ended up in such a state no doubt it’s probably my fault .
As I struggle to put a positive slant to these nocturnal thoughts being a ” lone” does not mean I’m not blessed , for I’m truly blessed with friends who try to lift me from my lonesome state , and then there’s all of creations my pets, and the beauty of the skies to help me not feel alone but then in the silences of the night comes these incessant thoughts, your a lone ,YOUR A LONE , but I’m reminded I’m one of a million lones I see them all over people aimlessly walking down the streets in odd clad clothes to keep warm , probably made a wrong turn somewhere in life and can’t seem to get on track or maybe they have just given up .
I must not give up. I see Lones in stores buying frozen TV dinners or dinners for one might as well say dinners for LONES . Just the other night I went caroling with our church and I saw a lot of LONES
As we approach another Christmas season with all the commercials about families I will be praying for us LONES I will thank GOD for the love and compassion he has given me and I will reach out to a Lone when I can because in some way we are connected and maybe just maybe we are not a LONE. :-/
By Meredith J Weir
All rights reserved
12/19/13