Category Archives: My Midnight Postings

The incessant chatter that wells up in my mind in lieu of sleeping.

Now I lay me down to What?

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep……
if I should sleep before I wake …….I’ll celebrate and bake a cake . Insomniacs and weary come
will turn the lights up , have some fun
Come meowing cat and barking dog but no one who can sleep like logs
This party’s for the caffeine depleted
(which helps us out when it is needed )
Serving up melatonin bread, that will make you all want to go to bed !
Also have valerian root that should do it -what a hoot !! People sleeping here and there some just flopped over by a chair a sleeping party of epic proportion though tomorrow will all awake distorted with that familiar ,whose there look ?
Back to caffeine oh yes we’re hooked
And so a sleepless night will end …..
Coffee tomorrow? Oh yes dear friend !!
By Meredith J Weir

All rights reserved 9/12/14

The remnant is speaking

I am the remnant of the ruined girls life,
Lest you think that she took it because of her strife
She lives on , because of her faith that is sure
She believes in a heaven and looks forward much more .
Though here life has left her in frequent despair
She knows of a Savior who loves her and cares
She shares from her darkness
That illness of mind , in hopes that some others some light just might find .
She goes on by her faith, kind friends, and meds help
That is when she doesn’t leave them on a shelf. ūüôā
If you follow my writings you often do see , the ups and the downs that is… I guess me .
So time now to go on and act like I’m glad , but only you readers know that I’m just sad.
By Meredith J Weir
12/29/13
All rights reserved

Ruined

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When did you die if you never really lived.
Who knew that one day this little girl would grow up to be alone .

No white picket fences with family for her .
No comfortable home she could call her own .
Who knew?
Even her job choice has led her astray
As alone she does spend much of her days
Who knew ?
Sad , sad , sad , sad , sad
No one knew then
and no one knows nows !
Ruined by life as it swept her aside
Her scars they are many
I wouldn’t lie …
scars on the outside
Deep scars within
Picture her ruined
By love never shared
Picture her lonely
From those who didn’t care
Who knew ?
By Meredith J weir
12/28/13
All rights reserved

LONE

Lone
I’m a lone
In stark contrast to my usual humorous self I share a little of my insides.
I’m a lone. Relatives are few in number ,what I do have is material things with relationship memories attached to them these do not in any way substitute for living breathing feeling relatives , and in some ways add to the sadness of my days but to depart with them makes me feel i’d be more of a lone :-/ I’m not here to debate how I ended up in such a state no doubt it’s probably my fault .
As I struggle to put a positive slant to these nocturnal thoughts being a ” lone” does not mean I’m not blessed , for I’m truly blessed with friends who try to lift me from my lonesome state , and then there’s all of creations my pets, and the beauty of the skies to help me not feel alone but then in the silences of the night comes these incessant thoughts, your a lone ,YOUR A LONE , but I’m reminded I’m one of a million lones I see them all over people aimlessly walking down the streets in odd clad clothes to keep warm , probably made a wrong turn somewhere in life and can’t seem to get on track or maybe they have just given up .
I must not give up. I see Lones in stores buying frozen TV dinners or dinners for one might as well say dinners for LONES . Just the other night I went caroling with our church and I saw a lot of LONES
As we approach another Christmas season with all the commercials about families I will be praying for us LONES I will thank GOD for the love and compassion he has given me and I will reach out to a Lone when I can because in some way we are connected and maybe just maybe we are not a LONE. :-/
By Meredith J Weir
All rights reserved
12/19/13

Crushed Mustard

Crushed mustard
There’s so much sadness in the air,
clouds filled with losses and despair
My friend’s cups are overflowing
With doubts, and fears and just
“Notknowings”
Their mustard seeds of faith seem
crushed, and joys and laughters all seemed hushed.
yet on the ground I see its dust, and flecks of seeds that were dispelled
Show me they can live beyond this hell .
Now don’t take me as the “there, there type” , my pains and trials I wouldn’t swipe but think me as a trusted friend ,who wants only to see you round the bend .
This worlds cares I can’t explain ,
( nor me awake right now in pain)
But morn will come, the day says yes regardless if our life’s a mess
The present pain will soon be past
It’s honing done, no more to last .
The trials endured the grinding done
The battle fought, the victory won .
By Meredith J Weir
M
All rights reserved
This may only be used with the expressed permission of the author
( me)

Writing from the darkness, inside a one sided symbiotic relationship now

Yes it has been a while since I’ve written, trying to emerge from the dark side of this symbiotic relationship. The dictionary definition of symbiosis, from the Psychiatric side is ” A relationship between two people in which each person is dependent upon and receives reinforcement, (whether beneficial or detrimental, )from the other.”well I’m¬†¬†trying to be different, make different choices,trying to see beyond our likenesses, but I have to tell you they’re¬†has to be many ,many people who have experience this torment. When your symbiotic other half, passes on .Whether it was a somewhat healthy relationship or not there remains a void.¬†¬†A large void ,You have to find a new ”¬†normal”

Especially hard when you know you march to the beat of a different drum! One might think that it would be refreshing not to feel judgement at every turn and decision, but this one feels lost like walking on a thinly ice ¬†frozen lake, each step is too scary to make so bear with me , I’ll be back .

The darkness writes from the darkness within …

The darkness writes to let it out , interestingly the darkness writes to reflect but can the darkness cast a reflection? oh most definitely yes. The darkness wants to teach. It teaches by example, it teaches by missed opportunities, and sadly it teaches most harshly about the sacred, precious gift of time! 60 second x 60 minutes x 24 hours , how much time does it take to impact a life? how much time do we have? will tomorrow ever come? and when it does will what we’ve done be enough?

The darkness pleads to take note and do. Do what ? smile, talk, give, share, hug, love, forgive, the list can go on, but from within this darkness I’ve encountered ,looms the tower of forever missed opportunities and never to be retrieved moments which now live inside the tear-stained walls of my heart.

I have lived with darkness as many know, I hope from writing within, that I will cast a glimpse that going on can be done and knowing others relate often helps.

This is not a long post as sadness and deep thinking often only result in using tissues and wasting time in regret, it is a pause and a reminder to seize the day let the darkness drive you out to make your today a good memory tomorrow.

The darkness sometimes doesn’t write.

So I started a blog and thought this will be easy to keep up since I thought the time slot will never get filled, but I was wrong. please stay tune as I bring in some poetry from the past and hopefully churn up my creative juices. The darkness will still write on….

The darkness writes even… when the darkness is in the day

When holding on causes you to let go

What we don't see rooted beneath the surface.

So sometimes I find myself envelope by the darkness in the day, not necessarily by the time of the day but by the times of the day.¬†What?¬†The time of the day could be high noon but the times of the day relate more to the times when I let darkness cloud the light, when I let sadness hide the joy, when I let lack of feeling love overshadow the compassion I feel for those who feel likewise. So why is this so? I could say this is human nature and that would be true. but it goes deeper than that it is rooted deep beneath the surface of this earth.It begins at the roots, and by time and nature, and life’s circumstances it¬†can become diseased, and then though it may look strong and tall it may in the storms of life become a fallen tree.
Was the soil holding the tree or was the tree holding the soil,was the roots tangled from going out in too many directions and in so doing almost uprooting oneself? Is this an example of natures symbiotic relationships? possibly so. But it is as old as time itself.

It started in a garden, The garden of Eden¬†,that’s¬†where we first discovered our will .God could have created a being having a will just as his but he chose to give us a free will so that we could choose to love him. Sin and selfishness enter the world and what we have now is a gnarly mess of directions and wills that¬†causes us to ¬†thwart the desires of our loving Savior, and from that we become diseased and uprooted and like the picture, become a forest of fallen trees.So the more we focus on ourself we see the tangled mess we make rooted in our earthly desires.

the gnarly roots of self desires

If we can instead look upward¬†and drink in the “son” light he will help us grow strong and help us to stand the test and trials of this life and even when the darkness crowds into our day we will see the light!

Reaching for the Light of Day

Let us reach upward¬†with leafy arms waving and drink¬†in our souls nourishment from the “son” the ¬†one True Light! Peace

but when the darkness sleeps

But when the darkness sleeps it means the troubles of daily living have some how been layed aside!
Right now in some places in America people are celebrating Easter.. Right now in some places in America people are not celebrating Easter nor do they know or want to. But for the blessed here in America we can!
In just a few hours WE will celebrate my only hope for salvation, the Risen Lord!
Are my bills still due…yes? Am I still under employed? …yes, is my health still bothering me? …yes BUT, I have a hope, for even if my life seems drear in this world it will be glorious in the next and that is because He alone is my hope and salvation! How blessed are we who know. When the troubles of this ones life are layed aside it is because I believe in a better tomorrow not achieved thru my efforts but that alone of my Savior Jesus, Resting in the knowledge of that, the darkness does sleep, May all you who read the darkness writes find solace in this too! Have a Blessed Easter.