Category Archives: My Midnight Postings

The incessant chatter that wells up in my mind in lieu of sleeping.

Oh no, its that time of year

Oh no it’s that time of year
When everyone is full of cheer
When one must muster up the strength
To go on and on in unending length.

To be a part , your fallacious life
To carry on beyond your strife
To come and go day in and out
As if it matters that your there
Or as if you have narry a care

But you will , the traps been set
To change it now , would spring it’s load
And furthermore , your life explode
Even if you did succeed……
Oh the hearts that then would bleed
Remember now there are those who care
And all the pets whose love you share,
And you’d miss the nice sun rise,
the birds that sing ,
The fact is you’d miss everything
Now sit you down and think a bit
But most of all you should not quit!
No life did not turn out as you had hope
But come on now and try and cope
Who knows how long your life is in your days
Or how to make it thru the maze,
The ins and outs and ups and downs
The fears that makes this sad heart pound.
Your up at 2 so what is new ,that sleeping thing is not for you .
But quiet here you must remain
And hang on to what you know is sane
Feed the cat and pet the dog who’s sleeping now just like a log. Go make yourself a quiet tea and think of good things you hope will be .
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I’m leaving now a few blank lines in hopes that is a very good sign , that I’ll return and write again
And so good night my unknown friends
By Meredith J Weir
12 /20/15. 2:20 a.m.
All rights reserved .

What World

What World is this so torn apart
With sins and fears and fighting
With tears and cries and lives torn up
The world’s soul volcano erupts…..

This , This is life without
The promised one , we talked about
This , This our sins made real
It’s time now to seek Your Saviour

Our sins have taken the path to hell,
Not one of us it’s pain can quell
But in the distance, and yet it’s near
Our hope of Salvation will come.

Come, Come to doubting hearts
Still the fears and hope impart
Bring, bring now your love and Peace
So fighting and hurting will cease.

He was ,He is and he’ll always be
The chosen one thru eternity
The word made flesh, The prince of peace
Put down now your weapons and pray.

Love , Light he’ll bring to you, no more dear child must you live in doom
He is here in your heart make room
For the prince of peace to come in.

To Tune of greensleeves

By Meredith J Weir
12/12/15 6:03 a.m.
All rights reserved.

Lost, Ode To My Jingle Joy

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I am lost until I have your soulful eyes looking into mine –

I am lost until I find my needs in yours.
I am lost til you say come on let’s go for a walk.
You focus me, you bring back to reality, you love me unconditionally
I don’t have to win awards to win your love.
At times it seems I have no other needs as long as I have you.
Some people won’t understand our relationship and that’s ok
Because ….I have you !

By Meredith J Weir
All rights reserved
4:30 a.m.
11/30/15.

How do you quell the pain

How do you quell the pain and the sorrow
when someone unearths your fears of tomorrows.

When they tell you how… you must carry on
when they haven’t a clue what comes with the dawn ?

When they try to entice you to dream and to try,
but they don’t see your checkbook has already died.
When your body stops wanting
And your heart fails to see
A living tomorrow of any degree
When the richness you own is all in the soil
and nothings to show for your life full of toil.
When you aren’t who you were and your not who you are
when all memories can do is conjure up scars.
And there’s nothing to pass on, nor some one to give
When your dog is the one for whom you will live.
But you can’t find a Dr to claim it is so
so you stay at home more cause you don’t want to go.

When being with people begins to feel stange, but you know that your dog understands all your pain.

When writing it down brings sorrow to friends,
they don’t understand why you- pick up this pen.
But for you it’s a vent, a place you can breathe, it gives air to the chest that struggles to rise, and form to the feelings that are locked up inside.
A writer,a poet, composer, and friend who tried hard to help and tried hard to mend the rips and the tears in her life here on Earth,
and struggles so hard to see her own worth !
Fear not my dear friends I’ll be here tomorrow in spite of the sadness I see in the night,
I believe in our Lord which alone brings me sight.
I don’t get it, this earth thing we,all must endure
but believing in Jesus- my heaven’s secure !
And maybe just maybe my journal in pain
will help another who reads and exclaims,
she gets it, she knows me I am not alone and for that reason my craft I’ll continue to hone,
So please do not worry as I capture the night it may not be for you that I sit up and write.
It may be my gift is to captured in ink what so many souls already think
To leave them a night song to bring them to sight to help a dear soul come through to the light.

By meredith J Weir
All rights reserved
9/14/15.

Trying

Hello, I’m trying..…
I’m trying to those who like me I’m trying to those who don’t.
I’m alway trying within my self
A life put on a shelf.
I once tried to fit in,
Well, that was a total lost!
So now I wander on trying
A life spent at great cost.

All this trying is exhausting
Fear of apathy is near by
All I wanted was to live
my life before tis time to die.
My stories are perplexing to those who think they know me well.
Belief in God alone keeps me
From destination hell.

She see beauty all around her
How could she be depressed
It’s better you not know
What’s in this troubled breast.
A heart that beats in time
Despite my gloomy stance.
Adds to the irony were my life
Set to dance.

I’ve tried to make a difference
My lofty dream awry… it’s time to sip
My coffee and release a giant sigh.

Oh I’ll keep on trying till there’s nothing else to try and finally finish trying ,when at last to life I’ll die.
By Meredith J Weir
All rights reserved
4/26/15

Overshadowed

Have you ever stood in a shadow to see better ?

When does living in the shadow
become your darkened sight ?
If you live in the shadow by day ,
what do you do by night ?
If asked can you see better
what say you then to this
Can your life be measured by the things in it you missed ?
For you there’d be no husband or fenced in yard with kids,
But a life you now have etched out from beyond the scars you hid.
Oh those scars, are not really hidden from those whom knew you well,
For each day you live among them as many could now tell.

Oh You’ve made a life for sure, gather from the smoldering embers , is it one that gives backs to others ? We’ll see how I’m remembered .

Standing at a distance , I see a flickering light, it too casts a shadow on my own life’s plight
she’s on she off she’s up she’s down .Can I fan my life to flame ? When this life is over to what then can I claim?

Oh readers of my darkness please do not be dismayed
For I live to tell the story from inside depression’s cage.
By far I’m not alone in this wired cage of sight there are many many more reaching outward toward the light.

I’m here to call us onward ,
steel caged bars to mesh be dimmed.
It when we look beyond it that we’ll see above the rim .
Beyond that rim , a light, is shining oh so bright
It will be for us the ending of our harrowing nights.
We can finally close our eyes , where no thoughts of fears will ride ….
because we know we’ve made it, to the lighter side.
By Meredith J Weir
All rights reserved
3/24/15
1:33 a.m.

Can the darkness coexist with the light ?

Can the darkness co exist with the light ? I’d say yes,as in the old beloved tune “It is well with my soul” Where it is written ” Christ has regarded my helpless estate and shed his own blood for my soul.” I think I finally get it and if I’m wrong so be it but I’m clinging to my faith even more now . Loss can be a good teacher, Only cling to that which can never be lost. Jesus is the same yesterday today and forever. ponder now on that!

Oh Death , Thou are Enticing – written For Freddie Prinze – 1977 by meredith J Weir

oh death thou are enticing

when life is such a bore

when your giving out all you’ve got

and they just ask for more…

and even when the curtain falls

They think that your at rest

and here you are, practicing to be your very best…

and so another act goes on-

and so your life is spent

not having time for living, not knowing what it meant.

we laugh at life or so it seems

the clock is ticking fast

and every night that we sleep, our life is going past

we can not slow it down ,we  live a rapid pace

I don’t even know who entered us

in this human race.

by Meredith J Weir

1977 all rights reserved.

 

Depression via genetics

Because I couldn’t
I didn’t
Because I didn’t
I have
Because I have
I can’t
Because I can’t
I don’t
Because I don’t
I know
Because I know
I feel remorse
Because I feel remorse
I couldn’t
because I couldn’t
I didn’t. ….
Repeat this from the top

By Meredith J Weir Nov 20th 2014
All rights reserved.

Child of woe

Deep within this pain filled soul
Lives a child who’s full of woe
In her sixties now,but lost her life
To time and pain and fighting strife.

This wordy one, LIVES deep in thought.
While many think it’s peace she sought.
But really folks there’s few that know what lies within this tortured soul.

She frequently gives voice to song
in a world to which, she can’t belong
But creatures, sky and sea can tell
Because you see, they know her well.

We trod below we look above while all the while we stare thru  love .
We look beyond and miss within
And that alone is a great sin.

But oh she stares at the birds in flight
and watches love in a star filled night.
And sees the sun and feels it’s rays and believe me that’s the best part of her day.
She speaks her words to things that know , how odd it is to live and grow,
and yet be seen as not alive regardless of how much you tried.
I’m here I’m here, she can relate
But alas my friends they hear too late
we bloomed and died and spilled our soul…..
And in the end it took it’s toll.
By Meredith J Weir
10/15/2014
All rights reserved