Monthly Archives: November 2012

Emerging from the Darkness

Emerging from the darkness, It’s true life must go on,

I dare to take a deep breath to count my worries gone.

Always will I love her she’ll always be with me

always I’ll remember, how misunderstood was she.

The child of this mother, I know her oh so well,

For I am so much like her, her  sufferings I’ll tell.

Living in the darkness, seeing no way to the light,

accepting that this darkness , must be her only sight.

So afraid of being wrong she lived on in misery, and once the dye was cast

that’s what it was to be.

Oh how I tried to tell her life can not be explained

that we must face tomorrow in spite of bitterness and pain.

I failed also; there’s wrong I must endure, but I know I am forgiven

that alone makes me secure.

The scattering of good times,  beneath her cloud of doubt

will be what I remember that her life was about.

She never really lived, in freedom from her thoughts

They alone kept her imprisoned , they alone the darkness wrought.

So I will take this lesson, my mom so sadly taught.

I will not be imprisoned by the darkly thoughts.

I may make mistakes and sometimes  I’ll  be wrong, but I won’t let the darkness remain in me too long.

I will seek forgiveness,direction, and the light,

so some day they will say, she fought the good fight.

By Meredith J Weir

11/18/126 a.m.

Writing from the darkness, inside a one sided symbiotic relationship now

Yes it has been a while since I’ve written, trying to emerge from the dark side of this symbiotic relationship. The dictionary definition of symbiosis, from the Psychiatric side is ” A relationship between two people in which each person is dependent upon and receives reinforcement, (whether beneficial or detrimental, )from the other.”well I’m  trying to be different, make different choices,trying to see beyond our likenesses, but I have to tell you they’re has to be many ,many people who have experience this torment. When your symbiotic other half, passes on .Whether it was a somewhat healthy relationship or not there remains a void.  A large void ,You have to find a new ” normal”

Especially hard when you know you march to the beat of a different drum! One might think that it would be refreshing not to feel judgement at every turn and decision, but this one feels lost like walking on a thinly ice  frozen lake, each step is too scary to make so bear with me , I’ll be back .