Monthly Archives: March 2012

The darkness writes but do I sleep, or weep, or keep, or leap? Leap year brought to me some interesting facts as to just how far we go to make things seem in sync, I say seem because even our current way of counting things is a little off, but suffice it to say we wouldn’t notice except every 8000 years, so I can cross that one off my things to worry about list! Why does it interest me? Probably knowing that I’m a little off it gives me comfort to know so is the world. I mean who else would be sitting here wide awake at 2 in the morning thinking about all this ? Course it does beat worrying about my bills neither of which I can do anything about. but I digress.
So we have this calendar which we use daily that keeps track of when the earth has made a full rotation around the sun yet if we want to be a perfectionist (oh not that I am) it really isn’t perfect oh no you mean I have been following a imperfect schedule all these years? yep, So we have leap year a way to make an adjustment to keep us more in sync with the universe.
Time has always been an interest of mine like sand slipping thru my fingers it seems to keep moving on , I can’t save it, hang on to it, or hoard it so it behooves me to use it wisely (yes I do succumb to wasting it all to often) it is scary to me not to know how much time I’ve got, In Psalms 90:12 it says teach us to so number our days so we may gain a heart of wisdom. As everything is debateable I wonder if the time I sit like this, is using time wisely I have to pray since sleep escapes me that it is an ok use of my time.
This brings me to a big question Who is in control? we think we decide what we will do with our lives but the older I get the more I see it turns out I make choices and God sometimes allows them and says well ok then and in the end if I trust and believe even uses my bad choices to my benefit.
I kind of look at it as playing chess with God I make this move which I think is in my best interest and God says using his infalliable wisdom if she does this I’ll do that and she still will be ok. Thank God he is much better at this then I am !! so back to leap year I’m not sure I was ready to leap forward this year but the calandar says I must and so it is.I am also not sure I am in alignment with the universe as a insomniac I apparently don’t keep the same sleep cycles as the rest of you, as a thinker I waste too much time probably thinking about things that are also too trivile, Some examples would be my bird watching, cloud watching and when I get the chance watching the unendingness of the tides so even if I do leap forward this year like the rest of you, I still most likely will always march to the beat of a different drum.
and that’s ok cause it just me!
For those that are interested this is a video explaining leap year
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53glKEPzElA copy and paste into your search bar.

But doesn’t keep what? you ask. the darkness doesn’t keep me down try as it might!

I have spent countless hours, nights, moments trying to figure out how am I going to pay my bills. My source of income is stymied by the economy ,my lack of substantial work and my health which has great days and then sometimes not so good days :-/.

I have tried crying about it, praying about it, eating because of it,  and overall being frustrated about it, none has brought me as much comfort as the following thoughts:

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never-failing…

a bulwark never-failing…. a what? what’s a bulwark? I’ve sung this tune countless times and kind of skipped over that word with a whatever kind of attitude but tonight I decided to look it up. and guess what dictionary.com said :                        1. It is a wall of earth or other material built for defense.

2. Any protection against external danger,injury, or annoyance

3. Any person or thing giving strong support or encouragement in time of need,danger,or doubt.

Oh I get it God is our defense, God is a protection never-failing. God is a strong support or encouragement in time of need,danger or doubt. Wow, I was wondering where to go for help!

(A little side note here if you don’t believe, read on, if you do believe, read on and if you don’t know what to believe ,read on!) 

 So back to the text of Martin Luther’s beloved hymn, (and a favorite of mine along with  “Onward Christian Soldiers” both to be sung at my funeral all verses.) the next line says Our helper He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. ah, how did you know Mr Luther mortal ills prevailing that’s right it is a mortal ill I am suffering thru, so good to know there will be no credit card bills in heaven no finance charges multiplied in such a fashion as to never let you be freed from it. it is a mortal ill created by mortal, thrust upon us by our own misguided choices and in the end will not be remembered . How I lived for you dear Lord, how I strive for knowledge of you, how I shared the knowledge of you, trying daily to be more like you, more compassionate, more forgiving, more loving. Those are the things I want to be my footprint. and not for me but as evidence of the Grace of God given to me. Now this would be an extremely long post if I take this hymn all a part. so I am going to skip ahead to a line that has been on my mind since we last sung it. It says in one of the verses, in one of the versions,  “Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also; the body they may kill, Gods truth abideth still, His kingdom is forever!” whew!  That is something to cling to, you know we won’t escape this world alive, but peace is our, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing because no matter what mistake, poor choices and consequences of our earthy living take place, we will finally closes our eyes to the messes of this world and open our eyes to the glory of the Lord a vision we can’t even imagine. So the darkness will not keep me down for God is on my side .

I invite you to read the wonderful lyrics to this hymn in its entirety. and feed on the peace that passes all understanding, and know the darkness cannot keep you down unless you let it. Peace!

Go to www.nethymnal.org and look up” A mighty fortress is our God”.you will need to type in the search box the title as it is not listed under the “A” but scroll down listen and enjoy .

Once again slumber evades my eyelids as the weight of this week weighs heavy in my mind. It is that time of the year where my thoughts get jumbled by my beliefs and I must reckon with myself!

Lent, yes the darkness writes but doesn’t weep for as bad as things may seem in my mind in my heart I am most truly blessed! oh that the whole world could hold onto that morsel called Faith! defined in Hebrews so well ” Now faith is the assurance of things hope for, the conviction of things not seen.” New American standard version “

The assurance of things hope for ….. a job, health,security  I can hope but it doesn’t pay the bills so how does one get from thursday to friday to monday and bills due day? perhaps it lays in the second part of this verse. the conviction of things not seen That is where most unbelievers get stymied. Good old King James put it this way “the evidence of things unseen” Which brings about the question can one believe in something you don’t see?  A profound yes comes to my mind . The first thing I think of is the wind. A 4th grade substitute teacher taught me that poem that started “who has seen the wind neither I nor you but when the leaves hang trembling the wind is passing thru”  (by Christina Rossetti ) the 4th grade teacher was Miss Holland I can still see her wearing that dark blue polka-dotted dress! any way the wind brings evidence of things unseen . The wind,where does it start ? where does it end? we all know how damaging it can be ,so does it exist? yes ! Do I understand it ? No so I either have to accept the concept that things exist I don’t understand or negate a huge part of existences! When I watch a humming-bird flap it ‘s wings at times ,the repetition is so fast that I can’t quite see each wing but I assure you there are not wingless humming birds flying around.ha ha! So back to the question. Can I believe in something I don’t see,yes. Now here is the trickier question, Can I believe in something I don’t feel? Defining feel as to perceive or examine by touch (dictionary.com) Can I feel your words? I can’t touch them but I can be touched by them. Bring in Genesis ch 1:3 “and God said let there be light and there was light” As a wordsmith and a very sensitive person, I have always looked at the spoken “word” as having much more power than humans tend to give it! If God spoke it and the world took form than most certainly the power of the spoken  (and written word) is huge! So Can I believe in something I can’t humanly touch, feel or perceive? yes and how does one do that on a day by day basis? My best answer is to accept that I can’t explain the universe,and I can’t understand in totality God,his ways and sufferings purposes,but by believing, beyond a shadow of a doubt it will bring more solace and less angst to believe and hope. The alternative is to be without hope – hopeless

The darkness writes but does not weep as one without hope. 2 Cor 4

by Meredith J Weir

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